Elise’s Story
I had met a guy when I was around 16 years old. We met through an intensive outpatient program. During treatment, no one can have outside contact because it hinders progress for both people. Our love grew increasingly strong for each other whenever we came in for treatment. When we both graduated from the program, we went on our first date at the mall. We left a store and he told me to kiss him. I had been diagnosed with OCD for over a year now, so I didn’t feel comfortable kissing him on the lips. I wasn’t expecting anything to get romantic, I was comfortable holding hands with him as we walked, and looking back that’s what I think led him under the impression that we were a serious couple. I kissed him because I felt forced to. He asked me right then and there and didn’t want to tell him no.
After that date, we never saw each other in person again. We lived over an hour away from each other so our only method of contact was Facetime. One night he sent me a provocative picture. He then proceeded to send videos of himself masturbating. It was very inappropriate and I felt uneasy. After this, he kept asking me for nude photos and videos of myself masturbating. I knew better than to do that, but I felt forced to do it and he started threatening me if I tried to say no. He was saying things like “I know where you live if you say no I’m going to come through your window and take you home with me”. I was young and innocent, and I didn’t have the courage to stand up for myself like I do now. We both were sending explicit pictures and videos to each other for about six months. One day I finally told my mom. I felt so violated and knew I couldn’t continue to do this because I knew how wrong it was. When I told my mom, I broke down. I didn’t know how she would react. My mom is a health teacher and is always educating me and telling me not to do drugs or do anything you shouldn’t do and I thought she would be so mad or even ground me. I was embarrassed, I felt so foolish that I thought someone could actually love me, and then I got caught in his manipulation.
For a good year after I broke all ties with this guy, I had irrational thoughts every day and every night that he would find me or come to my house or I would get caught and be arrested. I have been open about sharing my mental health story ever since I was diagnosed. But when I was approached with the opportunity to share my sexual harassment story, I was hesitant because I didn’t even know if my story “counted”. It is disheartening that we live in a world where survivors feel their trauma is not valid, or their feelings and their voice don’t matter. I am sharing my story today to let survivors know that their feelings are valid, and if you know something is wrong, speak up. Talk to a trusted guardian, friend, even your school guidance counselor. Because once you start talking, it gets better.
